Poor brother

Poor brother ( I got 2 bros, one's 7 years older than me other is 4 years older than me. And m tokin' bout the 7-years-older-than-me.).

Right now, for reasons I should not want to say, one of my brothers is not here. So far, I'm begining to miss him already. The day he started not being here anymore was Tuesday, November 23, 2004. What is it now? Thurs. November 25, 2004. There will be a lot more days between us. I hope he has changed for the better by the time he comes back (I think he'll be back in 7 months time). Ma says that we could see him in 4 months at the place he's currently at. as of now, I cannot find the words to express this feeling of blankness.

p.s. OoPsIeS! I gots ta do loads and loads of assignments and projects! bye.

hahaha. confuse yourself.

some times, i practically have no time to do anything fun. i'm like, preoccupied with stuff......
but everytime I have free time, i'ts like i dunno what to do......
at times like these, I feel that I have a lot to say....a lot to explain to myself....
then, in an instant, it disappears...

it's confusing me. it's like a mixture of satisfaction and hunger.
satisfied that I seem to have free time and the same time, I hunger to do something..
it's really weird...

the mind thinks non-stop....
it causes different emotions to rise and fall.
i dunno about others but i guess my feelings are often mixed.
what? am I insane? I dunno....

sometimes, (usually nobody knows the exact reason or explanation,) i feel like suddenly crying.
.....
then, some other instances, whatever sensation i feel, I occasionally feel like laughing...loudly....
there was even one situation when I felt kilig because of a crush, i laughed. as i ascended the school ramp, my laughter's loudness grew louder and louder and mam bustamante even asked me, "Lorraine, are you still normal?". hehehe....

my family, on a number of occasions, experienced a series of consecutive crying and laughter from me.... u get it? because of something i thought of, i suddenly cried when we were all in the family vehicle. while i was crying something made me laugh as well... ..
that probably makes me look/sound crazy.
i'm not.
am i?
i dunno.
do you?

weird weird weird....

i guess i could say that everyone has different levels of in/sanity uhm waitaminute. what the heck wuz my topic???

i've explained stuff to myself. it feels like i've gotten some answers; but now.. it's as if the path of things to be explained travels farther on.

hehehe...are you confused?
good.
so am i.