insecUrity

During one of the days of our practice in the cgc concert (Sat. December 18, '04) , the Majesty of Christmas, I suddenly felt that I didn't belong there.
There I was, doing the LEAST in the group and I felt insecure, out of place, and utterly useless.... I couldn't take it anymore....just staying there a minute more made me feel down..I didn't go there for church (well, I don't go to church), I only knew some people by face, some by names, but not even close to having had a conversation with all of them.. they probably don't even know me... I felt invisible. I didn't feel like i even had friends at all.. I felt like I regressed to the elementary student that had no real friend....
I really hate this feeling..... like being betrayed, back-stabbed in some sort of abstract way!
Because I was so wary of the people around me, I forgot about why I was even there...I was supposed to be there to glorify God.
Thank God I had Miss Janine and Achie to talk to! I felt better afterwards:)
Yet, that horrible feeling lurks everywhere, waiting for me to be weak-hearted.